Dissapated Ransom

11:01 pm: Allison...
I'm currently watching "The Tube" and Elvis Costello and Billie Joe Armstrong are singing each other's songs.  They just sang several Green Day songs and now they are singing an Elvis song ("Allison... my aim is true"). Death Cab for Cutie are also there... so awesome.  SOOOOOO Great... Gotdamn it's goooood.  Wish I were there in person!

10:15 pm: Catching up
Yea, so I said to myself I would update often and, well... that didn't work out.

I've been a boring girl. No drinking for over two months ... no smoking either (go me). I'm going to cheat ... but I will NOT beat myself up for doing so.

Easter was good. Spent Good Friday with Mom and Amy. Brought Amy to the dentist, went grocery shopping with Mom, picked up Amy and the three of us went to lunch at Mystic Village. Then went job hunting for Amy at the Village. She got a job at Angel Haven. Watched "Borat" in the evening with "ZomBee" and Mom and Amy. Saturday we all colored eggs and made cookies. Mom, Beth and I spent the better part of the afternoon just yapping and I balanced Mom's checkbook and in the evening we had Dale over for Chinese food and watched The Guardian on pay per view.

Easter was nice. All family and no major dysfunction! Yay!!! Did the annual Basket Hunt for the kids. Too funny that no matter how old they get I STILL have to do the the dang basket hunt. LOL! You know, I first started doing this tradition when Amy was but a wee one. I had this freakin' brilliant idea that I would start a tradition all on my own. It was to be a tradition that, when my kids were older and had their own kids, they would remember with fondness. Well, little did I know that I would end up doing it for years upon years on end *cracking up*. Let this be a lesson to all you potential parents out there... be careful what you set up as traditions cuz you'll be doing it for YEARS! LOLOLOL!(But you know what? They WILL remember it for the rest of their days and hopefully pass it down to their kids... so I guess my work here is done *smile*)

Talked to my shrink today about what a bitch I've been. My sister said maybe I've always been a bitch, but have medicated myself for all these years and have hidden the fact. My shrink didn't agree. He said that I've swallowed myself (so to speak) for so many years that I'm finally learning to assert myself. He said it's like learning to walk... it's new to feel empowered so I tend to over-exert myself. I just have to learn how to take "baby steps" and not try to do it all at once. Personally, I like what my shrink said better than thinking that I've always been a bitch... but whatever. LOL. He has a point. I need to learn to temper my aggression. And, with that in mind, I will try to do so. It will be a challenge, but I'm up for it.

I'm rambling... that's what happens when I don't post for a long time. I'll shut up now :)

09:19 pm: ...
Alden started shaving today... time is flying.

08:54 pm: SIGH
Been bored at work ... feel like my brain is rotting away *sigh*

Amy was home for over a week ... sick as I've ever seen her with Mono and the flu. Had to finally send her back to school and she's no where NEAR well enough to be there *double sigh*

Watched a few movies while she was home ... Jackass II was DISGUSTING and somewhat disturbing in how idiotic those guys are - but I laughed so hard *shhhh* Bill threw one of his infantile temper outbursts this weekend ... haven't seen him do that in years and yup, it's still as UGLY as it ever was *triple sigh*. I'm still not over how pissed I am about that, actually.

Went over to Grambly and Gaga's for dinner tonight. Had a nice meal and yapped a lot. She bought a case of gatorade for Amy and I already had to slap Bill's hand as he tried to rob one out of the case ... LOL.

... have I mentioned how bored I am at work these days??

10:39 am: Month Recap
Quitting(redux): Jan 7- Put down the butts. I’ve been taking Chantix to quit smoking and I finally put down the butts in what I hope will be my last attempt to quit. I still crave them, but the cravings are different … not as intense. I’ve cheated twice, and both times were because I had a cocktail and (if you smoke, you’ll know what I mean) cocktails and smoking just go together in my mind. Something about the decadence of it all is appealing to my naughty side, I guess. Both times I just stopped again the next day without a problem, though. Whatever… I’ve been avoiding alcohol so I can avoid the smokes. Unfortunately, I’ve put on even more weight … a good five pounds for sure. Yet, as time goes by, I’m substituting food less and less so hopefully I’ve got that in check. My problem now? I NEED A “GOOD” VICE!

Feb 4: Graduated from college AGAIN. Finally earned my MBA and graduated summa (go me, go me, go me). Now I have to do something with the stupid degree … and I’m working on it. Applying to this and that … only stuff that really interests me. The one thing about getting a higher degree is that it finally allows me the luxury to apply to jobs that interest me instead of just looking for a JOB. Oh, to be able to go to work and not dread it every single day …

Feb 4: Goddess Party in the evening (eighth annual, I think). Brought Mom as my date. She was SOOOO excited just to be out and socializing. The food was phenomenal. The crowd was good (and LOUD). The chick that always puts the moves on me wasn’t there … LOL! I stuck completely to soda so I wouldn’t start the cravings for cigs. Also, I was the designated driver. Laura was kind of weird to me … but it could have just been me. She made Nana cry … although in fairness Nana is a bit on the hairy edge lately emotionally. I worry about her to no end – I just wish she could get her life to a happy place instead of agonizing her way through every day.

Feb 10: Went for a long walk and then wandered down to my Mom’s. I asked if she wanted to watch a movie together and she was game. We ended up watching a silly movie (Nanny McPhee) and eating popcorn and snuggling on the couch. It was nice. Bill and Alden spent that time working on building Alden’s computer and shopping for parts … they’re really bonding over this computer project, which is nice to watch.

Feb 11: Went with Grambly to a new place in Waterford called Super Suppers. It’s this place where you go in and make your own meals in order to freeze them for future evenings when you don’t feel like cooking. Mom and I had a blast together and made up a bunch of meals. If you go in the evening they have hors’doerves and wine and whatnot. After we left there we went over to the Olive Garden (I’d never been to one before) and had lunch of soup and salad. It was pretty good … but just nice to hang with Grambly and brighten up her day. She gets so lonely for conversation and companionship.

Okay, I think that's all the news I wanted to be sure to capture before I forget ... *phew!*